Beata Leyland
Business Owner & Author of this article
Winner is the one who stays composed. If you didn't get what you wanted nobody has to know it, the same if you got more than you expected.
Intrigued ?
Negotiations is a so-called soft skill which all of us use on a daily basis. We constantly negotiate something with our family like holiday, budget, shopping list, and we constantly do the same with coworkers.
A soft skill is many times more important than a hard skill, as how many businesses went bankrupt not because of the quality of products but because of poor communication and marketing.
Since years I have the privilege to observe and participate at international/ intercultural negotiations, and I would like to share with you the most common mistakes.
Trying to convince someone to your point of view is not easy even using your mother tongue and being part of the same culture, so imagine how much harder it is to do so on a territory foreign for you.
They are many great and valuable articles and trainings about negotiating but you can only learn by doing it. Important remark! Don’t play games you can’t win.
You need to understand who you are before starting serious talks.
Who are you?
What do you bring to the table?
What can you offer?
What can you sacrifice?
What is non-negotiable?
Let me share with you a few tips how to negotiate with international partners.
1 Your attitude is everything, body language, looking at the eyes instead of floor, the way how you talk, how you walk, how you enter the room and how you start the conversation.
First, people see you and scan these small details before you even open your mouth, and when you finally do … a great ice breaker is meaningful small talk which shows your interest about your counterpart; an attempt to understand with whom you talk.
Learn something about the country where your counterpart comes from, perhaps a phrase in their language, or something what their country might be proud of.
It shows that you treat them seriously and respect them.
Great example of cultural misunderstanding can be … time.
The majority of Asia, part of Europe and Africa do all what possible to always be on time to don’t be disrespectful. U.S., Southern Europe, South America find it totally acceptable to be 15 minutes late. In order to avoid misunderstanding it is important to communicate upfront that meeting at 8AM means 8AM and 5min is acceptable but no more than that.
2. Appropriate dress code ALWAYS!
It’s obvious but so many people do it wrong.
Baseball hat on one side (very typical for the U.S) and suit on another (Asia, Europe, Africa) creates the wrong message and can set a bad tone. Even if we are on the first call, this is a chance for both parties to get to know each other and small details matter.
Many people would be truly surprised how often the U.S. counterpart appears with greasy hair or a baseball hat or wrinkly t-shirt and then they don’t want to understand why the factory from Asia doesn’t treat them seriously.
The default dress code is at least business casual.
If this is not your typical outfit at work, that’s fine simply have always some blazer and a fresh white t-shirt.
3 Be prepared and actively listen.
Actually, you should listen more than speak.
Small talk is something very typical for English speaking areas which many parts of the world find awkward because when you start a conversation this should be about something.
If you visit Shanghai, complimenting food is a nice start as it shows your interest and that’s a topic where other person will feel confident to tell you something more about.
Once we get to negotiations, usually one of the parties is a facilitator who does the introduction and then arguments.
Points should be presented in a calm way; the most straightforward as possible to make sure points are made but people are not bored.
You should construct your speech in such way to not only interest your counterpart, but also to encourage to ask questions.
People should understand your point of view, as you should understand theirs. If you need time to make a final decision, that’s fine, the most important thing is to use the time with other part wisely.
Asking relentless questions will bring you better visibility of the situation and circumstances you are in.
4. Think before you speak, use words carefully.
Don’t allow emotions take over you.
So many people tend to speak too much or be afraid to speak. Such a meeting is your opportunity to show off which is not an excuse to be noisy and obnoxious but to show who you are, what you represent, and how you want to conduct business.
The other party can be stressed too (and many times is, especially seeing you nervous). Oversharing or under sharing happens, what is important is that you leave the meeting with enough knowledge to make a decision.
5 Always be respectful no matter the results.
Nobody likes to cooperate with unstable, ego-driven people, so think about it before you show attitude.
Not all negotiations are successful, and some people simply don’t handle such pressure well and sometimes they show their emotions.
If you tend to overshare, be nervous and don’t handle pressure well, maybe it’s better to hire someone who can negotiate, and you will be there more observing than acting.
Sometimes the other side knowing you are unstable might provoke you, don’t fall for such a trap.
The way how you finish tells a lot about you, too.
People usually remember the beginning, end and some parts from the middle of the meeting.
6 Winner is the one who stays composed.
If you didn’t get what you wanted nobody has to know it, the same if you got more than you expected.
You gained the knowledge about the other party.
You had a chance to introduce and present yourself, and next time can be only better.
Negotiating is a difficult art; you have to be prepared not only on the subject, but also your brain should be sharp to ask proper questions, to show in a respectful way how you see potential cooperation.
Your words and body language will speak volumes here.
We are participating as a facilitator, advisor or main player during negotiations.
When you start, it is good to have a place to go to for help!
We will do our best to make your business idea come to life.
If you need help, advice, or coaching don’t hesitate to contact us.